


you found me at my worst

by electraheathens



Category: Carry On - Fandom, Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Snowbaz - Fandom
Genre: Baz Pitch - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Self-Harm, Simon Snow - Freeform, SnowBaz, Suicidal Thoughts, angsty, au where simon finds baz kidnapped, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11307018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electraheathens/pseuds/electraheathens
Summary: au where simon & fiona work together to find baz.





	you found me at my worst

 

> **Baz**  
>  So dark…  
>  I hated it. I'm terrified of the dark. Me, a bloody vampire, is scared of the dark. I have been ever since I was a child, scared of the dark. I would cry at night, and my mother would comfort me, saying “Hush, little puff, it’ll be alright.”  
>  I miss her. But I know she’d be ashamed of what I’ve become. She would think-no, she would know that I'm a monster. Maybe I should've ended it while I could. If I die here, trapped in this coffin, maybe it's for the better. But I don't want to die without seeing him first. I never got to tell Simon Snow, with his golden curls and stunning blue eyes, that I love him. Now I’d never get the chance, unless someone found me. That was unlikely by this point. Six weeks. It had been six weeks. They only gave me blood. Fucking numpties. Vampires need normal food, too. We need blood since our bodies have been drained of it. I hate needing blood. I would never, ever, bite a human, so I have to go hunting for damn rats at night. It's disgusting. I feel like an animal, a monster. Maybe that's what I am. Would Snow ever love that? No. Would Snow ever love me?  
>  ..Double no.  
>  At that moment, the coffin lid burst open, and blinding light hit my eyes. My hands flew up to cover them as I was pulled out. As I slowly opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the light, I saw who rescued me. Aunt Fiona! And...SNOW?  
>  Simon was staring down at me worriedly, his golden curls shining in the light. “Oh my god! Basil! I've spent six weeks looking for you! You were seriously kidnapped by fucking numpties?” My aunt kept talking, but I didn't reply, I was too exhausted to. I needed food. I felt my consciousness leaving, and I let it.

**Simon**  
I finally found him, finally found Baz. I met up with his aunt, and we worked together to find him. Penelope helped too, she texted me some places where we could start. So me, Penny, and Baz’s aunt all made a list of places to find Baz. The numpties cave was the last place on our list, and it was where we struck gold. We did have to fight off a few of those damn numpties before we could get to the coffin.  
Now, I was in the backseat of Fiona’s car with an unconscious Baz curled up in my lap. He looked so pale (more so than usual) and thin. I hated it. I couldn't help but run my hand through his black hair. “Do you think we could stop for some food? Baz looks like he hasn't eaten in awhile.” Fiona nodded, and we stopped at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere. Baz and I stayed in the car, and during that time, he woke up. Thank Merlin I had already stopped running my hand through his hair. What would he have thought about that?

 **Baz**  
I woke up in Simon’s lap.  
My heart was already racing, and I could feel a blush creep up to my cheeks. I wanted to stay, my head in his lap, him running his hands through my hair. (Yes, I was awake for that, just too tired to really process anything.) I sat up quickly. “Where's Aunt Fiona. Where are we?” I asked. “She's in that restaurant,” Simon said, pointing towards a building in front of us. “You look like you haven't eaten in weeks.”  
“I haven't.”  
“WHAT? They didn't feed you?” Simon said, shock in his voice.  
“They’re fucking numpties, Simon. They thought I needed blood, not food. Vampires need food too! I thought I was gonna starve to death there, with only the fucking cup of blood they gave me every day!” Simon stared at me in shock.  
Fuck.  
I just told him I was a vampire.  
“Baz, I-”  
I couldn't take this. I opened the car door and walked away. I just walked away. I had no idea where I was going but it had to be away from him. The man I loved finally found out my worst secret, and now he’d hate me more than he already did. I felt fire burning in my palm. I wondered when I had started it. Probably from the sheer panic I felt at that moment. “Baz!” Simon’s voice called. “Please, let me talk to you!” I ignored him. “This doesn't change anything between us! We can still be enemies. But I won't tell anyone.”  
I turned around.  
“What if I don't WANT to be enemies anymore?” I yelled angrily. Simon looked shocked. “That's fine with me,” he said quietly. “I will always care about you, vampire or not. I can't help it.” My face flushed again. He cared about me.  
Simon fucking Snow cared about me.  
He took my hand, and led me back to the car, where Fiona was waiting.  
“I was just about to panic, thinking that both of you had been kidnapped,” she said dryly. “Get into the car.”

 **Simon**  
Baz had taken the food and immediately left for the catacombs. I ran after him. “Baz!” I called. He didn't turn around. So I just followed him down to the catacombs. I had done this every night in 5th year. I heard him talk to his mother’s tomb a lot. Apologizing for “being a monster”, telling his mother that “I should’ve ended it all while I could.” I hated hearing him say things like that.  
Once I caught him slitting his wrists, and that's where I drew the line.

  
“Baz! What the hell have you done to yourself? Why?” I cried out as I looked at the blood dripping from his arms. “It’s what I deserve. It’s what she would’ve wanted,” he said, glancing at his mother’s coffin. His face and voice was devoid of emotion. I gently took him by the part of his arm that wasn't bleeding, and I took him back up to our room. I sat in the bathroom, bandaging up his cuts. “Never do that again,” I said, tucking him into bed. “If not for me, for yourself.”

  
That was my worst memory from 5th year. He’d never done it after that. Not to my knowledge at least. That memory flashed as he settled next to his mother’s tomb. He pulled the box of roast chicken out of the to-go bag, and started eating it with his hand over his mouth, so I couldn't see. “Baz, why are you…?” I trailed off. He stopped eating. “I don't want you to see them.” His voice broke. It clicked. He didn't want me to see his fangs. “It just symbolizes the monster I've become.” I sighed. “Baz, don't talk like that.” I hated seeing him so weak. I scooted closer to him, pushing the food away. “Don't deny it, Snow. You’ve been trying to prove that I’m a vampire, a monster, to the whole school for years. And it's true! You’re gonna run off and tell the Mage soon enough-” I wanted him to shut up. So I kissed him.

 **Baz**  
He was kissing me.  
Holy shit-Simon Snow was _kissing me._  
I kissed him back.  
It felt like fire had taken over my body. But this fire wouldn't kill me. It felt good.  
“The other secret I’ve been trying to keep,” I said inbetween kisses. “Is that I love you, Simon.”  
My voice was barely audible for the last four words.

 **Simon**  
“I love you, Simon.”  
He loved me. I loved him.  
“I think I love you too.”


End file.
